Perhaps it is the change of seasons or the bleak winter that approaches, or maybe even that my life around me is changing but something gives me an empty feeling. It isn't too often that I express a joy for life. Quite the opposite in fact. Just when things get good and comfortable a big change has to come along a wash away my content for what is. Everyday is a constant struggle to keep a smile on my exhausted face.
Things just got worse. . .
The living situation I am in is less than ideal. Me and the wife-to-be live with our parents and split days that we stay at each others parents. Moving out would seem like the easy solution but that is nearly impossible given that Pitney pays $10 and hour to do the job of at least two people.
The pressure to move out gets ever so greater as things and people in my life change. I just found out yesterday that my father is definitely gonna marry this woman he has only been dating for 4 months. I wanna be happy for him but nothing but sorrow fills my emotions. To top that off he is gonna sell our house and his girlfriend is gonna sell hers so they can start 'fresh'. My house is my calm. I love that house so much. It is essentially my dream home. . .only my father owns it. It is a rancher with an acre of land set in the country. He just recently put solar panels on it to make it much more energy efficient. For years he has been making plans of retiring and settling down in this home for the remainder of his life. All of that has been thrown out the window.
How can I be happy for him or myself?? Maybe with time. . .
But now the seasons changing. A time of year I do not handle well at all. The days are getting much shorter. Everyday I am waking up knowing it is one step closer to old man winter. This past week getting out of bed has been arduous. For days I have fought myself on calling out and as I type this I contemplate whether I will be in work tomorrow.
I just want things to start looking up again. . .and stay that way!!!
Karma? Where are you? I do everything that I feel is right and that does not hurt others. Yet you shit on me everyday. What gives??
6 comments:
I might be a sad sack but at least I am not Doug, right??
I apologize ahead of time for my whining. Things have just been really tough this past month.
Look at the bright side.
Phil's gone!
I know!!! It's like a dream come eh. . .
Okay, here's where I smack you upside your head and tell you to take your balls out of your fanny pack and use them for something other than not letting your huge cock slap against your ass cheeks when you walk. Now that I got that out of my system, here's a thought, instead of your father selling the house to someone, why not you and your wife to be simply buy the house from him. Look, I know you want a wedding, a reception, and a honeymoon, (from a guy who has done all that happy horseshit once in his life, believe me, other than the honeymoon, the rest is a waste of time and money!) So buy the house and give your blessed union a jump start. At least this way you won't have to worry about where you are going to live. Don't give me that shit that there's no way you can afford it, my ex was on unemployment and I was making 9 bucks an hour and I still got a mortgage. It's alwys do-able. Dude, no offence but you so lack a positive influence on your life. Don't look to you-know-who for moral support either, oral support that's okay but otherwise he's a worse social and emotional train wreck than you!
I guess that's why there are endless foreclosures going on at the moment. . .because it's "do-able". I recall that it was also "do-able" to get a mortgage because you went into a house together with about 6 people to pay for the monthly mortgage payment. And I suppose it was also "do-able" when, the next thing you and your ex did was decide to file for bankruptcy after some of those people cut out on you and you were finding it just about impossible to pay a mortgage. So while it is "do-able" to GET a mortgage, it is not always "do-able" maintain it. Nor particularly wise in many cases. Exhibit A: the preceding advice-giver.
Not exactly the financial track record I would choose to follow.
However, I would lend my voice to the plea for you to ditch the whole "elaborate wedding/reception" bullshit and use that money to get a place. Pissing away all that money for one day and a dinner is ridiculous.
So while I may be a so-called "social and emotional train wreck", I am also a realist who doesn't wear rose-coloured glasses but has excellent credit.
Dude, It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't have such HUGE head...
You Know how I know you are gay? You have a blog... How can I get one?
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